Oh my word, things are getting much worse...
I was planning on a long blog post explaining every single detail of the event and my feelings etc, but, no, I'll keep it concise this time...
The first thing that happened this week was that my boss lost his cell phone and now thinks it's stolen. Now, I can't help but feeling that maybe he didn't actually loose it but that he just pretended to loose it in order to set me up so that they can fire me. I don't know. I find it just a tad suspicious the way things happened. My husband says that I shouldn't worry, because I know that I didn't take the phone. But what he doesn't understand is that if I'm set up and consequently fired, that will become part of my reputation and people will trust me even less. It sucks so much, I wish I could just lead a normal life...
Anyway, this happening got me thinking that maybe I should just start looking for another job. I am REALLY very happy to work there, I love everything about the company, but my paranoia is just getting the best of me and it's making me miserable as a result.
I am more suited to jobs in HUGE companies, like say 200+ employees, were I can just be a number. Just go to work, do my job, leave and get paid at month end. No fuss and office politics.
I want to be able to focus on my life and my friends again, instead of constantly obsessing and brooding over the fact that my colleagues don't like me and my bosses are plotting to get me fired.
Also, I need to make more money so that I can start seeing a professional regarding my condition.
I've joined this forum at Psychcentral which is pretty awesome, because I get to share my experiences with people with similar fears and anxieties as I have and I also get to read how it is for other people etc.
So, I've you happen to read this blog, and you have some sort of mental issues, do yourself a favor and join those forums.
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